Tuesday, April 26, 2016

The Day Has Come.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I did it. I finished every book I started and didn't finish ever, in my life. It's a big day. But one year later from the very(ish.. close enough) moment that I said I would do this, I have completed this impossible task. Surprised huh? I figured. Well. Here are a few things I have learned. At the bottom, I have all of the reviews I gave the books I read. I sometimes hate reading these, but I tried to make it fun.. (ps, there's a lot, so don't read them all unless you're super bored and have nothing to do but read this.)

So here is what I learned.
Not all books are good. Up until this past year, in my opinion, most all books I took the time to read ended up being decent or excellent. How childish of me. But that's the truth of it. When you are surrounded by Harry Potter, Magic Tree House, literary classics, and other books like those while growing up, you start to think that books are the perfected artwork of these holy angels called writers. You feel a guilt weighing down on your shoulders when you think that you may have neglected to finish or read a book that could have so gracefully enriched your life.

Little did I know of the soul degrading affects of a poorly written book with boring characters and a disrespected plot. I now fully understand why it is perfectly alright to not finish a terrible book. I firmly believe that stories and content are pure in their element, but can be mutilated by an unworthy writer. And guess what? The best way to respect the story is to put the book down (in the garbage if necessary) and never again look upon the shame and embarrassment that has been thrust upon it by an incapable writer.

And then I learned that there are some books that just have no choice but to change your life. They just can't help themselves. They just have nothing better to do than inspire you and blow your mind. Let them do their job. Help them help you. Read the beautiful pages and absorb the knowledge that can rewire your brain for the better.

Ready for a bit of cheese? this is a picture of all of the bookmarks I found in all of the books I finished. Some had book sleeves as bookmarks, but this is the rest. Yes, that's a Lego Loyalty card;  yes, that's a $50 monopoly bill; and yes, that's a leaf from a lake in Idaho. Sentimental, I know, but it's been a long year.:)


ANYWAY. STOP HERE UNLESS YOU FEEL LIKE READING ALL OF THESE.

The Calder Game by Blue Balliett
As a very young fourth or fifth grader I loved these books by Balliett. The two books that precede this one are Chasing Vermeer, and The Wright 3. Basically, they are DaVinci Code for kids, which is to say they are mystery books that revolve around art and symbolism. The Calder Game was surprisingly suspenseful for me. I guess I don’t read a lot of suspense books, or mystery books for that matter, but for being a kid’s book this gets pretty exciting. Mostly I adore the way Blue thinks and writes. She can somehow explain the potential of a young curious mind in a way that’s not only in depth, but very real. Sure, there are some cheesy parts to these books, but she gets you to really think about art in a way you never have before and I love it.

The Science of Harry Potter by Roger Highfield
So heads up: this book mildly resembles a textbook. While it is filled with interesting facts and applications of the wizarding world to science, it doesn’t have a story line, which means you can go back to it if you’re having an argument about the Ministry of Magic at comic con. Not only are there technology and engineering applications in this book, but also psychological, sociological, and genetic discussions as well. Its downfall is simply the fact that it was published in 2003, and only has Harry Potter information up to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I would have loved to see Rogers take and findings on Horcruxes, wouldn’t you?

The Magician’s Elephant by Kate DiCamillo        
Kate KiCamillo is one of my all-time favorite writers, and she doesn’t even know it (Trust me, I’ve tried to find any way of contacting her to tell her how much I am indebted to her mind, but I can’t find any non-creepy way of contacting her). While my absolute favorite book of hers is the Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, This book is definitely not a disappointment. This book is about hope and belief, and how powerful they can be. But as I always find in Kate’s writing, there are much deeper lessons that can be learned. Yes, this is technically a children’s book, but I think you’ll find that it’s a refreshing alternative to the more cynical books out there right now.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Speaking of cynical books, this may be the most cynical of them all. However, it gives an unfiltered look at the world through the eyes of someone who can actually see it for what it is, and I love it. So many people told me this was a good book and I now understand why. This book is a complete must. Chances are though, you’ve already read it, and you know what I’m talking about. :)

Dune by Frank Herbert
Holy cow this is a monster of a book. I’m not actually sure I’ve ever experienced a book this involved other than maybe Tolkien. It’s a mash up of Political Science, science fiction, psychology, religion, and a coming of age story. I still don’t know what to think of it. The ideas and philosophies throughout the whole book were endlessly interesting.  I must say though (and I could get shot for saying this, I’m sure), I didn’t enjoy the main character. I honestly thought he was a little full of himself. However, I understand and respect that I don’t yet know the whole story behind dune, considering there are 19 books all together, including 7 prequels to the book I read.  In any case, Dune kept me very entertained and always thinking. If you like epoch fantasies like Lord of the Rings, you should for sure give Dune a try. I will warn you though, it is definitely not for the faint hearted.

The silent Boy by Lois Lowry
Lois Lowry, the author of The Giver is a very talented writer in my opinion who doesn’t ever let you get too bored. The Silent Boy is no exception. The message of this book just haunts you: do we condemn people simply because of their past—do we even sometimes teach and create the monster we see in others? Who’s at fault of a crime when the one who committed the crime was taught to do so by the same people who accused him or her? Mostly, I must say I simply love the way Lois’s mind works, and I will gladly always be a fan of her writing.

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and through the looking glass by Lewis Carroll
Whether you believe Lewis Carroll was a genius or just high in general, you must admit that he brings up good points. And after finishing these books, while I cannot say I really understood everything he wrote, I will say that there is so much truth to what he writes. He easily captures countless personalities of people we associate with every day, and reveals the ridiculousness of human behavior. He does all of this through the dream filtered eyes of a young girl. Over all, I personally believe Lewis Carroll to be a very smart person whose style is not for everyone, but can speak very deeply to some.

 Sense and sensibility by Jane Austen
Jane Austen is not my home girl, and I’m sorry. The problem for me is the fact that she does such a good job of developing characters I just don’t like at all that I just end up not liking the book. I also just didn’t like the story. But you know, it’s okay right? We can still be friends? Hold on. Let me read Pride and Prejudice and I’ll get back with you.

The tales of Beedle the Bard by JK Rowling
My favorite is definitely Babity Rabity and the Cackling Stump.  And as always, thank you JK, for gracing us with more Harry Potter like things. I seriously plan on reading these to my future kids. Let’s just hope they like it, and all of the other Harry Potter I will be force feeding them.

No Limits by Michael Phelps
Yes I know what you’re thinking. “Why are you reading a druggie book?” I’m not reading a druggie book I’m reading a book about a very talented athlete and all the factors that got him up to and through the 2008 Olympics. It’s actually fascinating. However, the use of swimmer lingo is very heavy. But anyway, I thought it was interesting to read it right before these upcoming Olympics just because it will be his last round. I think that despite what we read about him, he’s a normal guy who has more determination and focus than most, and has been able to accomplish incredible things.

The storytelling animal by Jonathan Gottschall
So remember how I said that there are books that will change your life? This would be one of them for me.  I actually remember finding this book in the store and instantly connecting with it. I remember picking it up and reading it a little bit and then putting it back to look at something else and coming back to it maybe three or four times before I just gave up and got it.  I am so glad I did. Describing everything from why we needed stories anciently to how we use them now and how it is altering our very existence, Jonathan created a new awareness in my brain that is now hyper-aware of the concept of story in all of its aspects. Sure it’s a non-fiction analytical psychology book, but kept me up late at night reading while constantly blowing my mind. If you like psychology, or you have people in your life who constantly tell stories you have questioned the truth of before, this book will probably get you to stop dead in your tracks like it did for me. Oh my gosh just read it.

The glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
Before I say anything, let me just warn you that this book is a very hard read—not in the sense that it’s written in old English, but in the sense that the content is very hard to take in. The Glass Castle is a memoir of Jeannette Walls that takes a good look at what poverty in the US actually looks like, a real look at mental disorders, and a real look at abuse. The interesting thing about this book is that Jeannette hardly ever stops to talk about her thoughts on what was happening throughout her story, and instead forces you to think about it for yourself.  While this book isn’t for everyone, it is a book that needs to be out there.

The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan
Yes, this is the last book in the Percy Jackson series, and yes, I got through the whole series and stopped half way through the last book. I’ve claimed before that I didn’t want the series to end and that’s why I stalled finishing it, but the truth is I just found it to be kind of disappointing after the other four books. This could be because I was into a very different kind of writing style in junior high, but really, (and here I make my confession) I read 80 more pages of the book from where I left off, and then looked up the summaries of each chapter till the end. I know, I’m lame, but I really couldn’t take it anymore. This is one of those series’ that, in my opinion, just need to be started and finished while you are in the age range prescribed. I’m pretty bummed that I didn’t finish it while I could have enjoyed it more, but there’s a lesson for you.

Leven Thumps and the ruins of Alder by Obert Skye
I know I know, I did it again with the whole not-finishing-a-series stuff. This time it was different though, I’m happy to say. It could have been because I adored these books while I was reading them from elementary to junior high, but this was a great ending to the story of Leven and Foo. Obert is a very funny and sarcastic writer, as well as just plain great at telling stories. I was actually pretty sad when the book ended, even though it ended great. I’m not even going to try and describe what the book is about for you however, because that would take days on end and you’ll just have to read them yourself.

Now that those reviews are done, I would like to tell you something. There was a book I read I was pretty excited to read, and it ended up being terrible… quite literally awful. And I’m not going to give you the name of the book or author because I don’t actually want any of you to find it. I’m actually kind of sad that I spent a whole 7 dollars on it. That money could have been used to buy lunch or a much better book. I literally threw it in the trash. So libraries: use the libraries. We must keep the libraries in business not just because they are sanctuaries for the nerdy soul, but because they save us from wasting our money on books we don’t know are abominations unto the invention of the printing press… and ink… and paper.

Next post: My adventures I forgot to post because I was reading all the time.




Monday, March 28, 2016

9 things you don't know about your online orders.

So today, I was looking through old drafts of posts that I never posted, so this is kind of old, but it contains information that might help you understand the very human side to online shopping. This knowledge was gained while I worked in packing and shipping in retail, and here I am today answering some questions I've had when I've received online orders. come with me on a journey to see the behind the scenes of modern day shopping.

Q: Why did my watch get sent in a box a small country could fit in?
A: We ran out of boxes. This happens more frequently than you'd expect. I promise, we tried to find the smallest box we could. Either that or the right size of boxes are on a shelf about 15 ft above our heads and there isn't enough watches or enough time to justify finding a latter tall enough to get them.

Q: The packaging tape on this box totally missed the mark and is all bunched up and crocked.
A: Sometimes the tape used is coated in water as its despenced through a wet hamster wheel like contraption. The stuff feels nasty all on its own without the help of the smell. Sometimes after we put the tape on, as we stack boxes, the tape can move around. Sounds very 1800s? It is. But that's what we have to work with sometimes.

Q: Why did I get eight different boxes when they all could have  fit into one box?
A: That's because you placed 8 different orders in a row. Each order you place has a tracking number. Each tracking number has a different label. If you want it all in one box,  order it all together in one transaction.  We hate making 8 boxes as much (or more) as you hate getting them.

Q: Ew. Packing peanuts. Why?
A: For certain items we are required to use packing peanuts. Also for your information, they have recently come out with a new packing peanut that doesn't have static. This means that you wont find any sticking to the back of your shirt five hours later.

Q: Ugh. Why is my cardigan all wrinkled? Did they even fold it?!
A: Yes, yes we did. We tried, and tried, and tried ma'am. It's no one's fault that the cardigan you ordered is paper thin, slippery, and small. Folding cardigans is something everyone working in packing avoids if they can help it. With the folding boards it's ok, with buttons it's hard but fine, but without buttons or a folding board forget about it. I'm going to do the best I can, but I can't promise perfection. Warm iron if needed.

Q: Why is my package taking so long to get here?!
A: Let me tell you a story. We went out early (4:30 AM) one winter morning a week before Christmas and the 5 of us try to find over 500 online orders. By 12:00 PM we've maybe found half. We started packing like crazy. The mail guy came at 2:00 PM. Sometimes we just can't finish, even if you were one of the 200 people who ordered shipping as priority. In addition, sometimes we can't find what you ordered because customers (and employees) sometimes (rarely ever) put items they try on back where they found them. If we can't find it, the order goes to another store that has it.

Q: Why is the box so beat up?
A: Not the fault of those who pack. We pack things to near perfection. The beating up process happens in transit.

Q: Why did they stuff this box so full that I can't get my package out?
A: We were worried about it. Transit is rough sometimes, and if your item is fragile or expensive, a little extra packing love makes us feel better. We take responsibility in what we package, so making sure your item gets to you in one piece is something we have anxiety over.

Q:I payed 4 extra dollars to have this giant gift wrapped. Why is the bow smashed/beat up/looks like it's been through the blender?
A: first, I'd like you to pick up the box this giant appliance comes in. Then I want you to think about how much time you would put into wrapping it yourself before you got frustrated and just put a bow on top. We are required to wrap it, because yes, you paid for it, but a piece of wrapping paper (even the crazy thick stuff we use) doesn't stand a chance against a 50 lb. box of metal (that sometimes aren't allowed to be turned any way but right side up). Even if we wrap and pack it perfectly, the people who get it to your house aren't all supermen/women. We all get tired. If possible and not super inconvenient, it would save the world a lot of frustration of you would wrap larger items yourself. We can wrap a salad spinners, cloths, shoes, and anything else all day for you. Just please... Please... Pleeeeeeease not the 64 piece copper pots and pans set...

Well I hope that answers any questions. Just so you know, I no longer work in retail, but I can answer almost any question about online ordering. I think that as we move into a new age of being anti social and doing everything online, there will need to be more understanding between those who pack, and those who receive. Anywho.

Heads up: I have a giant post coming April 17. It will contain reviews of all the books I've read and not told you about because I've been busy reading. Warning, there's a lot. Have a good day!

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Very Small Announcment

Hello! It's a new year and that's the only reason I can think of to justify giving my blog a face lift... to be honest I thought it was a little hard to read before. So happy New Year and please feed the fish.:)

This post is EXTREMELY important.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have made a ground breaking discovery that will change all of our lives. While in the course of my life today as I contemplated the mysteries of the universe, an idea popped into my head that I have tested, and created a solid scientific theory. Any theory you have previously believed in (like gravity or physics or whatever) in fact does not contain a fraction of the truth one comes to realize once he or she contemplates this new theory. Here it is:

A Pinterest profile can be made for any Disney character by using his, her, or its theme song.

Too much all at once? Keep your heads on. Let me explain through some examples:

Take Belle here. Her theme song? Belle. Her Pinterest boards in order:
"The baker with his tray" (food board)
"Poor provincial town" (Hipster photography of secluded getaways)
"Good day" (Positive and common quotes that look rare and new due to carefully selected fonts)
"How is your wife?" (Wedding board, obviously)
"THAT'S TOO EXPENSIVE" (Designer cloths, handbags, accessories etc.)
"She really is a funny girl" (Humerus memes, gifs, cat photos,  etc.)
"Nose stuck in a book" (Board for books, quotes about/in books, and nerdy tumblr posts)

Do you understand what I mean? Take a minute to soak in the value added to your life.

Image result for SimbaLets move on to Simba, Theme song? Just can't wait to be king.
"Quite so little hair" (hair board, obviously. mostly every variation of the waterfall braid ever)
"Do this" (DIY board, obviously)
"Be there" (Travel board, OBVIOUSLY)
"Heart to heart" ( Inspiring quotes, about self discovery)
"Advice from little hornbills" (More inspiring quotes about discipline, mostly about healthy living)
"Out of wing" (An overly thought out board name for a board of off the grid clothing styles)
"Everybody look right" (Some idealistic fashion board of other lions he finds attractive)
"King Simba's finest fling" (A secret board with ideas on what he wants in his royal king cave)

Image result for snow whiteSnow white. what theme song fits her more than "Some Day My Prince Will Come?"
"Some day I'll find my love" (Attractive men board)
"He'll whisper" (John Green and or Nicolas Sparks books quotes)
"Steal a kiss or two" (Engagement photo idea board)
"Though he's far away" (Travel board, mostly Europe where most of the attractive men are)
"When my dreams come true" (Her ultimate wedding board)
Image result for AladdinWe All know Aladdin is the photography enthusiast. Embrace it. His song is A Whole New World.
"Show you the world" (Travel board of exotic nature sites)
"Shining, shimmering, Splendid" (Sunrise/ sunset photography with or without inspirational quotes)
"Let your heart decide" (The quotes of inspiration, something tells me mostly in typewriter font)
"Where to go" (Again, another travel photography board, this time cities)
"Way up here" (High mountain panoramic shots he uploads himself from his carpet)
"Unbelievable sights" (Off the  grid photography destinations)
Last one: Hercules: I can go the Distance... We all know this person.
"Far off place" (travel board... always the travel board)
"Go the distance" (Running trails)
"Every mile will be worth my while" (Work out motivation quotes with before and after photos of two COMPLETELY different people but I wont rant about that here just saying...)
"Somehow I'll be strong" (Board for those two week rock hard ab workouts or three week diets that don't work)
"On my way" (Yet more quotes about being fit because obviously the more Pinterest quotes you have about being healthy the healthier you get!!!)

Do you see how incredible this is? This will literally change the course of human history. Feel free to try it yourself and let me know how it goes or what you come up with. If you can disprove my theory, also inform me (although I am almost 100000% sure you can't). Sure, this is classic Disney, but I'm certain if you ventured into the more recent movies you would find a treasure trove of Pinterest boards.

Have a wonderful day.:)


Saturday, August 29, 2015

Blink for lovely Alchemists

So remember the new year's resolution? It's still happening, only I haven't posted about it for a while. So here are three new books I have finished... and honestly, there is a fourth, but I can't remember what it was, so just know that it wasn't very memorable and no more will be said about it.

Blink, by Malchom Gladwell
 So while I was required to read this for a class I took over the summer, I did quite enjoy it. It's about making accurate quick decisions and trusting your gut instinct. This book didn't tell me how to make decisions in my life (which was what I was partially looking for) but it did  demonstrate the power of our minds. It was well worth the read and extremely interesting, and I plan on picking up the other three books of Gladwell's off of the shelf... just as soon as I'm done with the other million books I need to finish.:)

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho
 The Alchemist is probably one of the best books I've ever taken the time to read. It was suggested to me by a fabulous aunt, and I am forever in her debt. This book makes you think quite a bit, but it's not a particularly difficult read. It has the quality of classical literature without the length or the bore. It is one of those books I'll have to read again (which I won't be mad about) but this time around the main thing I got from it is having the courage to follow the dreams and goals we have. Honestly I could go on for days about this book, but I'll keep this short. It's wonderful and basically life changing.

How to be Lovely, by Melissa Hellstern
This book is a book filled with quotes and stories from Audrey Hepburn and those who knew her well. In a word, it's perfect. With ten chapters of different aspects of life, it goes over how this fantastic human lived. It's literally a quote book, but it's not cheesy and weird like the average quote book. It makes sense, it's interesting, and it feels good to read. The quotes have somewhat of a story line without the book becoming a biography, and it just gives lovely advice.:)

So there you have it, three more books I have finished. I honestly might have a read-athon this weekend (the last weekend before school starts up again) and there is a very good chance of three more books I will have finished by next week.

Anyway, good luck to anyone headed for school, including myself, because we will need any and all the luck we can get.  I hope we all pull through without any fatalities. Let us all put our game faces on, and tackle the next four months with war paint and ice cream.

Friday, April 17, 2015

New Years Resolution

So I know 2015 started like four months ago. BUT. I don't really care and I never made a New Years Resolution on the actual day. So my new year is going to start today. So here it is:

Now I know some of you will be shocked to know that I start a lot of books and never finish them. Well, here is my resolution:

I AM GOING TO FINISH EVERY BOOK I EVER STARTED AND DIDN'T FINISH.

I know!! It's a big step. However, I do have a plan so I actually complete this goal. 20 Pages a day. After every book I finish, I have to post a review on this blog. Now, keep in mind, this includes books that have sat on my shelf since 7TH GRADE (that was a while ago). All together, there are probably about 30 or so books in this category. So I can't buy any new books until then, and at the end of this endeavor, I'm treating myself to some new books (the fund for this has already begun). So I know some of you don't think I'll follow through... you know who you are... but it has already begun. Here's the first one.
  The Element  by Ken Robinson is absolutely wonderful, and I'd recommend to anyone. Such an interesting read. This got recommended to me in 9th grade by a physical trainer I worked with over a summer, and then I found it on my father's book shelf... and took it off the book shelf... and got 190 pages in... and then school started... and it all went down hill from there. (PS, dad you're getting this back) This book covers human talent, how people discovered their talent, and how finding what you love to do can change your life. By giving examples of a variety of people in a variety of situations, talking about their lives, and how they discovered what they loved he illustrates how pursuing your dream isn't easy but it's always going to be more fulfilling. He also discusses the education system and how aspects of it are pushing out the creativity in kids. However instead of just ranting about all of the education system's flaws, he goes over different ways schools have tried to fix this. I feel that if you are a human, and you like to do things, you should read this book.  Ah. I literally loved it. I'd also suggest you go and find another book review about this because that didn't do it justice. Or, you can just hear the man speak on his Ted talk he gave. Out of five stars, I'd give this five stars.. obviously.. I don't just read bad books... Or maybe I just love books... one of those two.:)

Eye of the tiger.. literally.

Hello!! So I haven't posted in a long while but hey! I have a great story I got out of it! So three words: Surprise swollen eye.

So I start getting these crazy headaches behind one eye, at noon, every day for about two weeks, two months ago right? I thought they were migraines from stress. So when they come back this month I assume it's just stress again, which would make sense seeing as it was the end of the semester for me.  So then when I wake up Sunday morning and my eye is swollen, I get a little worried... no headache I've ever had has made my eye swell. I was pretty sure it meant I was going blind for a while... but after talking to two trusted physicians (my sister and my aunt) it was determined that a swollen eye was not a death sentence.
But then I went home...
And woke up the next day...
And my eye was almost swollen shut.
Now I promise I'm not exaggerating. I woke up for work at around 5:30 and looked in the mirror and bam.. Quasimodo (I actually watched The Hunchback of Notre Dame for the first time the other day.. coincidence, I think not). My eyebrow was arched up and my eye socket seemed to be inside out. So am I freaked out? Yes I am. its 5:30 in the morning and my eye is a huge squinty squishy blob on my face. So after getting work off and emailing my teachers about how I wouldn't be in class due to a deformed face, I hopped on the train to the doctor.
The up side to this is that no one sat by me and I had a whole booth to myself. hahaha
So the doctor didn't even know what was wrong I don't think.. or if he did he didn't explain the problem to me... But basically he gave me magic pills with a map on the back and the headaches and swelling went away! So now I'm going to wait and see if this happens again in two months. If it does, I have someone on flowers for my funeral already, and I'd like to request a TARDIS blue casket and if it looked like the TARDIS that would be an added bonus...?
Anyway. Ta ta.