The final joke.

I know what you're thinking. I've suddenly lost my sense of humor under my bed never to again be found, and I only have one more joke for you because I have dedicated the rest of my life to being somber. That I'm doing away with everything funny in the world.
If you are thinking this, you just happen to be false.
No. Today, I want to talk about a joke... that came in the form of a final.
So we've been having finals all week right? its the end of school, and someone at some point decided that that's what you do at the end of the school year to make sure kids learned stuff. Weird I know. What's the point in that? We've all been trying to figure it out for years.
This year however, had it's particular air of comedy to the tests. Here's the set up:
a bunch of students walk into a math class. (funny already- I know.) They get taught by a teacher who tells them once a week that they are throwing away their lives. They learn math. they get all the way to the end of the year where they get to the point that they really do feel like they know the curriculum fairly well. The final comes, and it goes like this.
23 problems:
5 on what they learned that year
18 on things they didn't learn that year, including problems a level higher than they are currently.
Funny right? Ya. Really funny. class average? No one knows because the grading system was messed up.
I know I was laughing pretty hard. haha Actually I was: Hysterical laughter due to the fact that I had no idea what the problems were even asking me to do. I had never seen most of those terms ever in my life. It was kind of like in the movie the best two years: " Uh,  what language was he speaking?.... That's not the language they taught me in the MTC." It was just that realization that I got while taking the test and realizing that even though I had studied for three hours the night before, there was no way I could have known to study for the subjects on the test, and that there was just absolutely nothing I could do about it. So, I just kind of.... went with it. Guessed for most of it, but you know, I got the third highest score in my class....not that we know how the grading worked, but I got the third highest number... how about that?
Well, now there is nothing I can do about it, so.... fingers... and toes.... and legs.... and eyes..... and arms... and nose crossed!!

Elephant Hospitals.

aaah. so today I am going to write a symbolic story based on a true story. its kinda sad, but that's OK. here goes.
Once there were four elephants who were friends and loved each other very much. One day as they were walking through the  forest/ jungle/ desert/ grassland (I'm not sure where elephants hang out) one of the elephants got hurt by an evil   animal named Malicious kidnieus. He made her so sick she had to go to the elephant hospital, which is really like this hut thing where other elephants dance around and sing healing songs (I have no idea what they do in elephant hospitals). So the other three elephants were very worried about their friend. one night two of the three friends decided to go up to visit their sick buddy. However they decided not to invite the third elephant because the third elephant was apparently less significant. so they went with out the third elephant.
The next day, when the three elephants went walking through the forest/ jungle/ desert/ grassland, the third elephant was sad because a little bird had told the third elephant that they had gone to see the sick elephant, and the third elephant wanted to go really really really REALLY badly because the third elephant was best buddies with the sick elephant.
So later that day, when all the elephants went down to the watering hole, the third elephant went to wait for the other two elephants, but they failed to show up. So the third elephant waited and waited. And when they did show up, they told the third elephant that they were sorry, and that they had gone to a more prestigious watering hole. The third elephant felt highly left out. actually, the third elephant felt extremely left out and like the third elephant didn't have any more friends. The End.

That was the sad story of the day. sorry. its raining.

Vegitables.

DA DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAAAA pause. DA DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
 those are the opening notes to Bethovans fith. awesome? yes. Love. Love. Love. very short post I know, But I feel as if all of my posts are novels. so there you go. song of the day. enjoy. and also try to eat lots of vegitables.

May the 4th.

So this will be my 100th post. I felt that it would be appropriate to post on a very special day. that's why I waited so long.... actually I just haven't posted because I'm very lazy. However all of those little minor details aside, I have a very important day today. Not ONLY is it the fantastic day of May the 4th, but it is also the grand day that I get to swim the mile. Why? Because my coach decided that that would be a great idea. I have considered the following theories.

• She hates me. 
• She has an odd way of expressing her deep love for me. 
• She thought it would be a once in a life time experience to meet my dead ancestors. (as the result of swimming the mile is almost certain death)
• She wishes that I was a distance swimmer (because her favorite distance swimmer has decided to graduate) and often has these delusions that I love distance swimming.... I do not.
• She hasn't had a good laugh in a while, and saw this grand opportunity.
• I did something wrong, and she is using me as an example to all of those who try to rebel against her dictatorship.
• She's mad that we all didn't have to give birth recently like her, and is trying to inflict equivalent pain and agony. 
• She is mad that my friends and I came up with an amazing baby name, and she didn't come up with it first. 
• And finally, the theory that by making me swim the mile, she will somehow put me into a deep hypnosis and then kidnap me for the next 20 years so I will be able to preform her bidding as she slowly takes over the world with her secret army of pirate frogs with plastic swords that glow in the dark. 

The simple truth is I'm not really sure why she put me in the mile. All I know is that I may or may not be alive tomorrow. But you see I have eaten my weight in carbohydrates. This should be a breeze right? just like eating cake.
Fruit cake.
complete with concrete and large chunks of lead. :)
May the force be with me, and you also.. :)