- She hates me.
- She has an odd way of expressing her deep love for me.
- She thought it would be a once in a life time experience to meet my dead ancestors. (as the result of swimming the mile is almost certain death)
- She wishes that I was a distance swimmer (because her favorite distance swimmer has decided to graduate) and often has these delusions that I love distance swimming.... I do not.
- She hasn't had a good laugh in a while, and saw this grand opportunity.
- I did something wrong, and she is using me as an example to all of those who try to rebel against her dictatorship.
- She's mad that we all didn't have to give birth recently like her, and is trying to inflict equivalent pain and agony.
- She is mad that my friends and I came up with an amazing baby name, and she didn't come up with it first.
- And finally, the theory that by making me swim the mile, she will somehow put me into a deep hypnosis and then kidnap me for the next 20 years so I will be able to preform her bidding as she slowly takes over the world with her secret army of pirate frogs with plastic swords that glow in the dark.
Fruit cake.
complete with concrete and large chunks of lead. :)
May the force be with me, and you also.. :)
1 comment:
hahahahahahHAHAH. Oh I love you. I especially adored the second to last one.
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