In my personal opinion, the absolute best snack is cheese. Not just any kind of cheese. STRING cheese. It's portable, you CAN eat it with one hand, it's not messy... unless you're awesome like me, and it's cheese. It's the bomb. So let me lay down some techniques, and important rules to this wonderful food.
- Technique #1: The Stroke: Hold your cheese upright and medium-gently stroke the top of the cheese near the edge, and peel the string of cheese down SLOWLY so you get the full length of cheese. Then dangle it above your mouth, release, and be thou satisfied.
- Technique #2 The Vampire: This is ideally done when one hand cannot be used. Hold your cheese upright, and place your front teeth (fangs) on the top, near the edge of the cheese, and peel with teeth. Please try not to frighten anyone while doing so, but it usually is inevitable. Please note that this is done by the more awesome of professional string cheese peelers, and takes weeks to master.
- Technique #3 The Wimp: This is done by mainly careless people who don't respect the art of string cheese. So they simply bite the cheese like a candy bar. If you see this done by anyone, please educate them in the beauty of string cheese. You may just save them from dying with out the true meaning of cheese.
- Now, the fourth technique, it is complicated. Imagine if you will, an interpretive victory dance done by the Vikings, with two red painted war streaks on your face, juggling three wrapped string cheeses, and when the dance is done, you are flat on your back with all three cheeses (unwrapped) sticking out of your mouth. It takes years of practice, but once mastered, can burn eyes out in immaculate spectacularity.
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